Editing The Wickedictionary (section)

==O==
'''Oats:''' ''n.'' a grain which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.<ref>Samuel Johnson</ref>

'''Observatory:''' ''n.'' a place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.<ref>Ambrose Bierce, ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911)</ref>

'''Obsession:''' ''n.'' commitment with fervour.<ref>Derek Abbott, 2010</ref> 

'''Obsessive compulsive:''' ''n.'' highly focussed.<ref>Derek Abbott, 2010</ref> 

'''Obvious:''' ''n.'' that which is never seen until someone expresses it simply.<ref>Khalil Gibran</ref> 

'''Office:''' ''n.'' 1. a place where you relax after your strenuous home life.

'''Office:''' ''n.'' 2. a clean, functional, brightly lit cell inhabited five days a week by diligent souls who forfeit their lives to make a living.<ref>Rick Bayan</ref>

'''Office politics:''' ''n.'' a system of secret alliances, treacherous intrigues, backstabbings and petty rivalries designed to relieve the tedium of corporate life. The chief legacy of Byzantine civilization in the Western world, appropriately modified for our times; instead of blinding or maiming one's rivals, one simply mutilates their egos.<ref>Rick Bayan</ref>

'''Oil:''' ''n.'' the flammable liquid residue of fossilized prehistoric plants and beasts, found to be suitable for fueling engines and Middle East conflicts.<ref>Rick Bayan</ref>
 
'''Old age:''' ''n.'' 1. is when regrets take the place of dreams. <ref>Adapted from John Barrymore</ref>

'''Old age:''' ''n.'' 2. is fifteen years older than I am.<ref>Oliver Wendell Holmes</ref>

'''Old age:''' ''n.'' 3. is when competence is a turn on.<ref>Billy Joel</ref>

'''Online:''' ''n.'' offlife. <ref>Rick Bayan</ref>

'''Opinion:''' ''n.'' what seems to one to be probably true.<ref>''Chamber's Dictionary'', 1952 Edition</ref>

'''Ontology:''' ''n.'' the theory that there are multiple universes with only one having the property of existence.

'''Opportunist:''' ''n.'' a person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 

'''Opportunity:''' ''n.''  that which comes brilliantly disguised as an insoluble problem.<ref>John W. Gardner</ref>

'''Opposition:''' ''n.'' in politics, the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it.<ref>Ambrose Bierce, ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911)</ref>

'''Optimism:''' ''n.'' 1. is inevitably the last hope of the defeated.<ref>Albert Meltzer</ref> 

'''Optimism:''' ''n.'' 2. is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.<ref>Voltaire</ref> 

'''Optimist:''' ''n.'' 1. one who believes the inevitable will be postponed.<ref>Adapted from Kin Hubbard</ref>

'''Optimist:''' ''n.'' 2. one who has never had much experience.<ref>Don Marquis</ref>

'''Optimist:''' ''n.'' 3. one who doesn't have the patience to worry.<ref>Derek Abbott, 2009</ref>

'''Oratory:''' ''n.'' a conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding.<ref>Ambrose Bierce, ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911)</ref>

'''Orchestra:''' ''n.'' an overgrown chamber ensemble.<ref>Derek Abbott, 2010</ref>

'''Order:''' ''n.'' is merely the prevailing form of chaos.<ref>Kerry Thornley</ref>

'''Organ donor:''' ''n.'' someone who looks forward to being outlived by his liver.<ref>Rick Bayan</ref>

'''Originality:''' ''n.'' 1. judicious imitation.<ref>Voltaire</ref>

'''Originality:''' ''n.'' 2. the ability to look at the same old ideas in a new light.

'''Orthodoxy:''' ''n.'' is the ability to say two and two make five when faith requires it. <ref>George Orwell, ''1984''</ref>