The Wickedictionary
The name wickedictionary is intended to be a play on the word wiktionary. The idea is to collect definitions of words like in a dictionary, except the definitions must be perverse in the style of Ambrose Bierce's the Devil's Dictionary. The idea is to modernize Ambrose Bierce and come up with a more contemporary and cutting-edge collection of definitions. Anyone is welcome to edit this page. If you do not have access, you are welcome to email me definitions. The idea is we don't have to necessarily agree with these definitions, but to merely enjoy them for the fun of it.
A
B
Banker: one who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.[1]
C
Celebrity: (noun) someone who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.[2]
Conscience: the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.[3]
Cynic: a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.[4]
D
Democracy: 1. the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.[5]
Democracy: 2. is also a form of worship. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.[6]
Democracy: 3. is the pathetic belief in the wisdom of collective ignorance.[7]
F
Faith: an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.[8]
H
Hero: someone who is talented at getting other people killed.[9]
History: a fable agreed upon. [10]
J
Jury a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him.[11]
L
Lawyer: is one protects us against robbers by taking away the temptation.[12]
Love: 1. is the delusion that one woman differs from another.[13]
Love: 2. is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.[14]
M
'Misogynist: a man who hates women as much as women hate one another.[15]
N
Newspaper: a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.[16]
P
Patriotism: is the virtue of the vicious.[17]
Puritanism: is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. [18]
R
Remorse: regret that one waited so long to do it.[19]
S
Self-respect is the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.[20]
W
Wealth: any income that is at least $100 more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.[21]
References
- ↑ Mark Twain, attributed.
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, attributed.
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, attributed.
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, attributed.
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, Prejudices (1922)
- ↑ From the film Serenity.
- ↑ Napoleon.
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, attributed.
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, attributed.
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ Oscar Wilde.
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques (1916)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
- ↑ H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy (1949)
